there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
