actually, I'm a sock model
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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