You really coming over, don't trick.
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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