Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
