I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
