You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
