I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
