When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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