She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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