Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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