You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Semen is not good for contacts.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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