Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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