My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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