I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
