Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
