Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
