jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize