Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
