I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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