If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
