After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
