I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Pappa wants mamma naked
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
