Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
