if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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