Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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