belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
