Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
