oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
