Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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