My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm having to shit out rocks
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
