it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
