My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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