I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
