so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
