Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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