She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
