She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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