so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
