he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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