U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
