She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
