HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
