What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
