**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
im holly from the hills drunk
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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