i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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