The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
