I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
