Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
