On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
