well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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