They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
