I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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