I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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