just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
