So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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